24 Responses for "What is the most tasteful way to ask for monetary gifts instead of material gifts for our wedding?"

1. Cupcake's Princess August 8th, 2009 at 9:03 am 1

   Just sell tickets to the wedding. It’s more straightforward. (Sheesh!)

2. kno.it.all August 8th, 2009 at 9:03 am 2

   There is no tasteful way to ask for money. If you don’t register for gifts people will get the hint. Ask your close friends and family to politely say "They would prefer money in lieu of gifts" if anyone asks. Whatever you do – don’t write it on the invitation! That’s just tacky.

3. B2B 6-27-09 August 8th, 2009 at 9:03 am 3

   http://mag.weddingcentral.com.au/weddings/wishing_wells/index.htm

4. Heather D August 8th, 2009 at 9:03 am 4

   You just tell family and they can spread the word. Never never put it in your invitation.

   There are some sites where you can register for honeymoons or mortgage savings. You open an account and say you are registered at http://www.blahblahblah.com and there are all of the places where you are registered. People can but a gift card to your fund or whatever. You will still get picture frames and other garbage you didn’t register for. People always do that. They are regifting or just bargain shopping.

5. Special K August 8th, 2009 at 9:03 am 5

   You can’t ask for monetary gifts. But, there is a way around this. You could say no boxed gifts. Alot of countries do this, chinese and india. They never do boxed gifts only monetary. I have an Italian friend who lives here and married here and thats what they put in the invites. "No boxed Gifts." You could also have donations made to your favorite charity if you don’t want gifts.

6. sarcoplasm August 8th, 2009 at 9:03 am 6

   Gifts should never be brought up by the couple – it is tacky and rude.

   If someone approaches you or the party, then it is ok to say there is no registry as the couple has already aquired all household items.

   Hopefully your guests will get the idea and leave money.

7. shaynalm August 8th, 2009 at 9:03 am 7

   There is a website that you can register for events, big ticket item, ect. http://www.ourwishingwell.com

   Check it out. We are doing it for our wedding. It has worked great and I have heard nothing but delight from friends and family.

8. Dee August 8th, 2009 at 9:03 am 8

   For our wedding we registered at justgive.org On our invitations we had a separate card stating, "In lieu of gifts, please go to the following site to donate to the charities we have chosen." The site allows you to pick charities you want your guests to donate to and it also allows you to make a wedding homepage detailing why you chose to donate.

9. My Three August 8th, 2009 at 9:03 am 9

   I don’t see a tasteful way you could add this to your invite. I think you should not do a registry and let your wedding party know that if anyone ask where you are registered they can tell the guest that monetary gift are welcomed due to the fact this is a second wedding

10. sparkleprincess_77 August 8th, 2009 at 9:03 am 10

    My cousin registered at honeymoon wishes for their wedding last summer. she didn’t need anything because they both lived on their for so long. check it out.. That’s where i registered too. You get to choose all kinds of "gifts" for your guests to buy for your honey, but I believe everything comes to you in the form of a check so you can use it on your honeymoon or after you get back too.

11. kakeydec August 8th, 2009 at 9:03 am 11

    Most people give money …unless you specifically let them know you are registered at a department store…..You are going to get some gifts what are you gonna do? ..YOu cant ask for monetary gifts ONLY….

12. Galaxie Girl August 8th, 2009 at 9:03 am 12

    I hope you don’t expect to even get gifts from everyone who attends, since this is your second wedding. It’s tacky to mention anything about gifts in the invite because it implies you expect something. Just be grateful for whatever you get.

    Oh, if you don’t register anywhere (which you shouldn’t for a second wedding anyway), people often take that to mean you prefer money instead of material gifts.

13. Linds August 8th, 2009 at 9:03 am 13

    Sorry, but there really isn’t a tasteful way to ask for money! Maybe if you don’t register anywhere, people may choose to give you money instead of a gift. However, you’ll probably recieve lots of things that aren’t your taste! Many people simply don’t like to give money as a gift (I am one of them).

    By the way, gift information should never be included in your invitation (including information on where a person is registered)! It should only be passed along by word of mouth when someone asks.

14. MelZ August 8th, 2009 at 9:03 am 14

    There is no tasteful way to ask for money. You shouldn’t say anything, and just hope for money.

15. junkfortom August 8th, 2009 at 9:03 am 15

    Unfortunately it is usually seen as rude to ask for or to give money in lieu of a gift. My suggestion is to give a *gentle* reminder to include the gift receipt with the gifts and return them all in one go. Keep gifts from close family or those who may be offended by a return, but remember that no one has a right to be offended by a return!

16. buggzzy August 8th, 2009 at 9:03 am 16

    I think asking it in ANY way would be tacky…this is my 2nd my soon to be husbands first and i am only thinking we will be getting gifts from his side…Why should my side and in your case either sides be expected to give you another gift when I’m sure if they went to ur last they are coming to this one…just set up a SMALL gift thing at a store like walmart…of what u want…if not be happy u are getting something that u have to take back instead of nothing at all

17. Irish Amber August 8th, 2009 at 9:03 am 17

    Don’t register. If someone asks where you are registered, just say politely "We’re not, thank you." Whatever you do, do not have a shower and just have a wishing well at the reception. You may get some presents you don’t want anyway but no harm in that.

18. Emanon August 8th, 2009 at 9:03 am 18

    There is absolutely no tasteful way to ask for money. Do what I did and put "NO GIFTS PLEASE" on the invitation. Do not expect anything and you will not be disappointed.

19. Soon2BMrs.Lee August 8th, 2009 at 9:03 am 19

    There is no tasteful way to ask for money unless its for charity. Use word of mouth by relatives, bridal party and friends…hope it will get around.

20. oy vey August 8th, 2009 at 9:03 am 20

    You don’t.

    You do not ask for money or gifts.

    Period.

21. iloveweddings August 8th, 2009 at 9:03 am 21

    Wow! I urge you to look up all the questions like this that have been asked and answered! There is at LEAST one a week.

    So, anyway…..here goes….

    You cannot ASK for anything especially on the invitation. You are so lucky to have everything you want, but you still cannot do it. An invitation (of any kind) is no place to make mention of gifts.

    How to get around it? Simply DO NOT register anywhere. When your guests see that you are not registered, they will (hopefully) give you a card with cash. Period. End of story.

    However, be warned that some still do like to bring gifts. Please accept them graciously. If it means returning them…so be it.

22. itsalwaysthequietone August 8th, 2009 at 9:03 am 22

    Don’t know if this will help, but we are also asking for money, through our honeymoon registry. Not only did we spread the word among close family and friends, on the website we put the link for Target, the link for Bed Bath, and then a link for the honeymoon. We explained why we were doing this sort of registry, as well as how it works (we have some older guests that may not understand). It was, I hope, a tasteful way of putting the emphasis on what we really want.

23. RachelinKC August 8th, 2009 at 9:03 am 23

    Asking for money is not a “new” idea by any means, and recent bridal surveys and forums show that 60% of couples are now doing so. Enquiries for our Wishing Wells and how they work, have tripled so far this year. The secret of course, is to find a tasteful way of “asking” which pleases most and will compliment the elegant surroundings you both have worked hard to create at your reception.

    The concept and process is quite simple. A brief note is sent out with the wedding invitations, Below are some wording ideas which you can use on your invitations.

    Invitation Script 1
    Friends, as you are aware we already have most items needed to ’set up house’. This is the reason for us choosing a wedding wishing well. At the reception there will be a wishing well in which we would love to receive your greeting card and contribution. This will be a great way for us to pool together and buy ourselves something quite luxurious, or to make our honeymoon even better.

    Invitation Script 2
    To support us on our special day you may wish to follow with tradition and bring a gift. Or alternatively you may like to help us make our honeymoon a little more special. For this reason we have chosen a wedding wishing well. The wishing well will be at the reception where we can receive your best wishes and contribution.

    Invitation Script 3
    They have their dishes and towels for two
    They have pots and pans and oven mitts too
    So what do you get for the Bride & Groom
    Whose house is setup in every room?
    Their house needs repairs and some upgrades too
    But you can not register for carpet and glue.
    A well that holds wishes is the way to go
    So lets make it easy for all that know.
    An envelope will be provided for those who have room,
    To give a monetary wish to the Bride and Groom
    A wishing well will be on display at the reception hall
    To attach your wishes, for the couple, with love from all.

    Invitation Script 4
    Because at first we lived in sin
    We’ve got the sheets and a rubbish bin
    A gift from you would be swell
    But we’d prefer a donation to our Wishing Well!!

    Invitation Script 5
    More than just kisses so far we’ve shared,
    Our home has been made with Love and Care,
    Most things we need we’ve already got,
    And in our home we can’t fit a lot!
    A wishing well we thought would be great,
    (But only if you wish to participate),
    A gift of money is placed in the well,
    Then make a wish …. but shhh don’t tell!
    Once we’ve replaced the old with the new,
    We can look back and say it was thanks to you!
    And in return for your kindness, we’re sure
    That one day soon you will get what you wished for.

    Invitation Script 6
    Soon you will hear our wedding bell,
    As Friends and family wish us well.
    Our household thoughts are not brand new,
    We have twice the things we need for two.
    Since we have our share of dishes and bedding,
    We’re having instead a wishing well wedding.
    But more important we ask of you,
    your prayers of love and blessings too!

    Invitation Script 7
    This wishing well is here today for family and friends. Take an
    envelope, make a wish and please drop it in. As it falls into the
    well your wish, for the couple, will come true. A token for the
    couple, to help them begin, will be welcomed, too. Please take the
    time to make a wish before the day is through.

    Invitation Script 8
    Now we are to be Mr & Mrs
    We don’t need a wedding list of dishes
    we have two kettles, two toasters, two microwaves
    We require a house for which we have to save.
    If you would like to give us a gift,
    A cheque or vouchers would give us a lift
    We like to think of it as our ‘Wishing Well’
    Which will be filled with your love, we can tell.

    Invitation Script 9
    Our home is quite complete now,
    we’ve been together long,
    so please consider our request and do not take us wrong.
    A delicate request it is, we hope you understand.
    Please play along as it will give our married life a hand.
    The tradition of the wishing well is one that’s known by all.
    Go to the well, toss in a coin and as the coin does fall,
    Make a wish upon that coin and careful as you do.
    Cause as the well’s tradition goes your wishes will come true.
    So on this special day of ours, the day that we’ll be wed.
    Don’t hunt for special gifts but give money in it’s stead.
    And as you drop the envelope with money great and small,
    Remember, make your wish as you watch your money fall.

    Invitation Script 10
    "We’ve been together a few years now;
    we have pots and pans and linen and towels;
    we have glasses and toasters, really quite a few;
    so instead of more gifts, we suggest this to you;
    if it doesn’t offend and it won’t send you running;
    what we would really appreciate is quite simply money;
    we know choosing gifts can be such a pain;
    and this way there is no chance of bringing the same."
    What do you think?

    Invitation Script 11
    "If you were thinking of giving a gift, to help us on our way.
    A gift of cash towards our house, would really make our day.
    However, if you prefer to purchase a gift, feel free to surprise us in your own way."

    Invitation Script 12
    "We really would appreciate a little money of our own,
    instead of a little gift for our new home!"
    We know you want to find something nice
    But it’s such a hassle to find the right price
    So come and enjoy the day all sunny
    We really would appreciate a little money.

    Invitation Script 13
    To save you looking, shopping or buying.
    Here is an idea, we hope you like trying.
    Come to our wedding, to wish us both well.
    And bring this small sack, to throw in our wishing well.
    Fill it with paper all colours will do, gold is our favourite but silver will do.
    Now that we have saved you, all of that fuss.
    We hope you will come, and celebrate with us.

24. Engaro August 8th, 2009 at 9:03 am 24

    You could say "Best wishes only" on the invite. It just means no gifts, but if someone really wants to get you a gift they’ll either write you a cheque or buy you something anyway.